Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future.
Gail Lumet Buckley

Kong Kong,

Remember this photo?

That was 17 years ago. Look at where we are now?

It’s been a long way from that photo. We’ve gained some, we’ve lost some. With everyone scattered, it’s only once in a while that we actually meet, like in that photo. The first time we took a family photo, it was almost 17 years ago. The last time we wanted to take a photo, you left. Until this year, 4 years after the youngest has been born, we’ve reunited once more for this photo. And yet we’re missing you kong kong.

July 3rd is coming and it’s been 18 years since that Monday. How we wish you could be in that photo with us. You would have been so amused at Joel trying to stuff his finger up his nose and eating his boogers every time the shutter clicked. It probably would have been easier to get him to smile with you around, seeing as you’ve always had tricks up your sleeves. We still talk about you like you’re with us and we still hear stories about you from por por, your children and your grandchildren. You would have been proud to hear that when Joel wore his checked, button-down shirt, he cried because he didn’t have a tie. After all, in that photo in the living room…

“Yeh Yeh was wearing a tie.”

It’s a pity Joel never got to know you in person. He would have loved your rubber insects, your binoculars and your BB Pellet guns. I know you would have enjoyed him too, the way you used to play tricks on us when we were kids. Somehow, stories can never compare.

If it really was you, you gave Julianne quite a scare that day at the temple but boy, was she happy. Before that, she kept asking, “Is yeh yeh really here? Is he invisible?” and it became “He really is here!”. They miss you, without knowing you, but from the stories we tell, they miss you. Perhaps, it’s almost as if they know you. And I know, kowfoo would have wanted them to know you.

But we miss you. Each and every day and even more so when we tell your stories, or when we look at old photos.

Eight years ago on this day and probably even at this time on a Saturday night, I was at No. 22, probably watching tv, talking to Su Yin as mum, ee ee, and por por fussed over you. I don’t really remember what I was doing there. Perhaps I was rummaging through the fridge or I was just lazing. But I remember you sitting in the living room as usual. Then you moved to the dining table, you had started to get swollen feet and everyone was worried. But it was okay since the doctor’s appointment was just on Monday. It could wait.

Eight years on, it sometimes feels like yesterday. We still miss you even though we don’t talk about it. The knowledge that you really are in a better place makes things easier. Selfish it may seem, we still wish you were here with us.

Your granddaughter
Xin-Ci

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