I haven’t exactly the cheeriest and happiest person around (not very often was/am I genuinely cheery anyway). I’ve been so caught up in the more angsty side of my life that it felt as if there wasn’t really much to look forward to. I acted very much unlike myself – antisocial, subdued (in company I previously enjoyed) and distracted. My whole life was a distraction.
Now, I’m more… resigned to fate. Life’s like that. You have some, you lose a lot. I’m sometimes confused to how things could’ve turned out this way. Since when have I preferred staying at home in my room by myself or wandering the aisles alone? Since when have I had strong pangs like this coming out of the blue craving for company? Now, it’s so sad and unusual to find that I’m so much more detached from things than I was initially. Everything feels detached to me and the few I’m still attached to, I cling to hopelessly. I haven’t recovered from everything. It’ll take some time. Meanwhile, I’ve never been this insecure of myself. Of my actions. Of my thoughts, my words… my friends.

My friends…

Who are my friends?

For once, I don’t really have an answer.