To everyone who was concerned about my fall,
Bert (Fishillala’s Doctor Dad) said that it was just a sprained ligament and a light injury, nothing to worry about :)
Thanks for all your concern ya =) So sweet.
=+=+=+=+=+=+=

Friends are the family you choose for yourself. ~ Edna Buchanan

Reminds you of all those autograph books you signed with friendship quotes back in school eh? But you see, the meaning of this quote never really struck me then. I mean, back in secondary school, when you’re naive enough to think that all your friends are true, friendship quotes hold no meaning. In fact, even now, few really hold much meaning to me aside from them being a bunch of words someone rather important said that everyone else adopted.

All my (not so) long life in Penang, I’ve been very secure. I’ve always had someone to turn to for the littlest of problems. I’ve always had pillows or mattresses of support to fall back on – in the form of relatives, immediate family, old friends, or mere familiar acquaintances the little Penang is so full of. When I came to KL, despite having my father here, things changed somewhat.

For once, sitting alone in my room on a Friday night was not a voluntary choice.
For once, eating McDonalds or KFC for lunch and dinner became a norm.
For once, Cintan Mee or Indomee adopted a permanent space in my belly.
For once, the mop, broom and rag became weekly friends.
For once, I studied on my own account and not because Mum nagged my ears inside out.

Those little things make up most of my life in KL. The daily undernourished meals, the lonely nights, the cleaning, the lack of nagging. I might have it easier than others because my Dad is here. But how much easier is it when he’s not always around? How much easier is it when I don’t live with him and he’s so busy?

When you come to a place where everything’s unfamiliar, where your friends are few and scattered, you learn to make do with what you have. When I joined ADP last January, I knew no one from my intake. I went to orientation sitting alone, falling asleep during the speeches, and said “Hi” to many faces, hoping to find a familiar one.

When I moved over to BPsych, I was optimistic. Naively optimistic. I was comforted in an old circle. I didn’t want it any other way. Then shit hit the fan and I was forced out of my comfort zone. But I would have it no other way. If I could turn back time, there would be few things I’d've done differently.

Recently when I had my bad fall (I’m okay now by the way), the only people I could turn to were my friends. Back home, it would’ve been so easy. All I’d have to do is call my parents and they’d be there in a jiffy. No monetary problems would have come to my attention, no transportation problems, no problems with “Who to see?”. Things would have been too easy. But here, I’ve come to realize that my friends have become my secondary family. They are the ones I turn to first when I’m in a turmoil. They are the ones who can help me when I’m in need. They are the ones who’ve been by my side through the good and the bad. I might know many people. But I have few friends. They might not be popular, they might not be rich, they might not be the best students, they might not be perfect in character. But they’re my friends.

I believe God planned this all out. He planned for me to come to HELP and not know a soul. It was His plan that I chose Psychology as a major. It was His plan that gave me a choice between a local degree and an overseas one. It was His plan that I met the friends I have now. It was His plan that I move out of the hostel with old friends. It was His plan that I be involve in the falling out, as large and as emotionally draining as it was.

I believe He has a reason for everything.

When I prayed for direction, He led me to CF camp.
When I prayed for help, He gave me friends.
When I prayed for guidance, He led me to Mr. Franklin.
When I prayed for His intervention, He led me to my parents.
When I prayed for escape, He intervened.
When I was at my lowest, I counselled myself with this: He has a plan for everything.

Now I understand what Huey Sian said all those years ago in KDU. She said that when she goes overseas, she’d rather she not know anyone. She wants to start afresh. A clean slate. I told her it was ridiculous. I told her no one can have a clean slate. I told her she cannot abandon her past.

I was wrong. You cannot abandon your past. But you can have a clean slate. You can have a new start. You can start afresh.

I now know.

This year, a full year since I came to KL, I’ve come to realize how much I’ve grown. This is my home. Somewhat. This will be my home for the next two years. These will be the people I see everyday for the next two years. These will be the people I share my life (or what I want shared) with.

I would have it no other way.