I’ve decided that, my post a week will feature the most interesting / exciting / thought-provoking thing I read or happened to me in the week! At the end of the year, I’ll have 52 posts to document my entire year. Well, 51 since I missed last week’s post.

Anyway, back to the most interesting / exciting / thought-provoking thing I read or happened to me this week. This week’s award goes to…. Amy Chua.

If you haven’t heard of her yet, you must be living under a rock that has no Internet connection, or you must not follow me very closely on Twitter / Facebook (shame on you! Follow me here).

A few days ago, while lunching in our usual siewyoke-pan-mee hotspot at Lucky Garden, Wuhan shared with us an excerpt of Amy Chua’s new book (not to be confused with the “Joy Luck Club” author, Amy Tan) that was published on the Wall Street Journal, and it got of our Chinese heads nodding in astonished agreement, and a hint of relief at the validation of the way we were brought up.

You’ll get the gist of what it’s about simply by reading the short intro:

A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it’s like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I’ve done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

- attend a sleepover
- have a playdate
- be in a school play
- complain about not being in a school play
- watch TV or play computer games
- choose their own extracurricular activities
- get any grade less than an A
- not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
- play any instrument other than the piano or violin
- not play the piano or violin.

If you were brought up in a typical Asian family, odds are high that at least 6 of the 10 bullets above would’ve applied to you, no matter where in the world you live. And anyone who’s not Asian, won’t get it as much.

In fact, while my Chinese friends find her pretty funny because of how accurately it described their childhood, my non-Chinese friends, just gasp in horror, scream “ABUSE!” and find it a major controversy. So if your reaction is similar to theirs, read these articles from The Guardian and Oprah to get the bigger picture of her parenting choices, and the current path she’s on.

Do I think all Chinese parents are like that? No. There are many of my Chinese friends’ parents who allow their children tons of freedom while growing up. But the essence remains the same — how and why they do it.

For me, well, if you’ve met me, you’ll know that I think of my mum as a “crazy Chinese mother”.. and use 2 adjectives to describe her most – crazy, and neurotic. And while I do say it with fondness and affection, I truly can’t think of 2 words that could be more apt. And of the list of 10 above, at least 7 applied to me. Unfortunately for my mother, while in high school, I point blank refused to put any effort into studying, and as such As were tough to come by unless they were English and Math.

But, my mother pretty much controlled everything she could in a pretty draconian way.

• My hairstyle – which never changed until I came to KL and chopped my long locks off, then called her after to say I did it.
• My very crazy tight schedule – extra tuition classes or piano or ballet classes daily. As in Monday to Sunday, for a good 5 years.
• My teeth – yes, you read that right. When I was 13, she dragged me sobbing, screaming and protesting to the orthodontist to get braces slapped on my pearly whites, which really didn’t need to be mended.
• My phone calls – she would keep close track of how long I was on the phone for, with whom and how often.

And tons more.

At the time, I was pretty pissed. Sometimes, I still am pissed. I relished the freedom of movement I suddenly had when I chopped my waist length hair off, and in a really masochistic way enjoyed (and still enjoy) her nagging me about how I’ve chopped all my beautiful hair (and, beauty) away. I still glare at her whenever she talks about the condition of my teeth because she and I both know that they’re much worse of now that the braces have come off. And I distinctly remember being smacked for getting a C, being called lazy (I was) and once being called stupid. Actually, more than once.

Some of my friends with more liberal / chilled out parents would think that my mother’s just super duper strict and controlling, and, well, crazy. And I’m not saying she isn’t. She is. But I don’t think it’s as severe as it sounds.

I posted the article on Facebook and Twitter, and got such varied responses!

Esther (Chinese) found that it validated her childhood and laughed throughout most of the article. I’m guessing, so did Joanne (Chinese) and Lyn (Chinese).

There was a crazy long debate going on on my Facebook wall though:

And an even longer thread on Quora.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be a parent, and if I ever become one, I don’t know what sort of parenting route I might choose. Granted, I think that my parents could’ve done some things differently, but I also think they did many things right, and to the best of their abilities / knowledge. As such, I’m not as quick to dismiss the benefits of strict, draconian, Chinese parenting and if I ever have a kid (God bless that kid), there are tons of Chinese values that I will try instilling the Chinese draconian way. Today, Chinese parenting is coming under a lot of fire because liberal Western (more specifically, American) values are mainstream. But as the world’s focus shifts to Asia, I wonder if the Asian style of upbringing will be just as mainstream.

What do you think? Would you raise your child “Tiger Mother” style? Or adopt a “Mama Bear” stance?

With that, let me leave you with one of my favorite quotes from that article, and a few links to learn more about Amy Chua, her book and why she wrote what she wrote.

What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you’re good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences.

Photo Credits: Polyvore

Sorta kinda like lomography itself.

Thing is, I’ve always been tempted by lomography. I remember Kingsley and I discussing the possibility of one day investing in a lomo camera. That was 2 years ago.. and until recently, I’d always hesitated.

Why?

Probably because I’m super comfortable with my Canon semi-pro? The wonders of digital photography is that you can never really make mistakes — there’s always a second chance. And third. And fourth. And hundredth. Not satisfied with your photo of the Eiffel Tower? Keep clicking until someone shoos you away! No loss there.

But with analogue… now that’s a completely different story. There are rarely second chances. You’ve got one shot, and that’s it.

No instant gratification of knowing that “Wow, I took a great photo!” until you get to the shop to get it processed (and even then, you wait an entire day to see the fruits of your labor.

No “Hey, that photo sucked, I can take like 1000x more!”. No way in hell when a roll of 35mm Fuji Superia 400 costs rM8 and can only shoot 36 frames. Definitely no way in hell when a roll of 120mm film costs RM12, and can only shoot 12-16 frames.

It didn’t take much convincing to get the Diana F+ (well, when you’re not the one footing the bill, it’s much harder to argue).. and I decided to give myself a shot — do one full year in analog. No whipping out the Canon for a back up shot, no post-processing, just old-school point & shoot.

I thought it would be pretty easy. After all, I’m a decent photographer when you hand me a digital camera.

Oh boy I couldn’t be more wrong.

My first 2 rolls of 35mm film came out looking like I was shooting blind. Literally.

All I got in each frame were bits of a person’s chin.

Or their foreheads.

Occasionally, I’d miss completely.

Trust me, after having pixel after pixel of the perfect digital shot… it was mega-demotivating (and embarrassing) to get back from the photo processing studio with blurry, out of focus, accidental shots.

For someone who’s used to producing stellar pictures under various light conditions, I was pretty stumped.

So I went online and researched like crazy.

• What film worked best under what light conditions, which lens to use if I were to shoot on 35mm, and which for 120mm?
• The apertures to select when using film with less than ideal ISO.
• Which light conditions would require manually keeping the shutter open, and which for one-click?
• What apertures for which weather condition?
• How to focus when your viewfinder and lens, aren’t connected?

After a good 4 months with my Diana F+… I’m far from perfecting the art, but I’ve learned a couple of things along the way.

#1 Frame, Then Shoot.

One of the joys of digital photography is the ability to frame your shot in the LCD screen before even hitting the shutter. No such thing with my Diana F+. I had to shed a bazillion habits, just to be able to photograph correctly, accurately, and nicely with the Diana F+, and this was the first habit I had to kick.

I’m not saying don’t frame your shots. I’m saying frame them in your mind.

It’s sorta the same thing with life. Don’t just take wild guesses. Take a moment to think about it, frame your problem / situation / proposal, and then shoot.

#2 Perfection Be Damned: You’ve Only Got 1 Shot

One thing lomography has taught me is to be quick to act — you may only get one chance at a great shot.

Accidental shot of a smiley (and clean) baby Josephine, post-shower

#3 Always Expect the Unexpected

With analogue, and specifically, the unstable build of the Diana F+ you never know what you’re going to get and you soon learn that imperfection can also be perfection.

Joel in the sea one morning before stormy clouds hit. I wasn't aware that I'd accidentally exposed my 120mm film, resulting in light leaks

#4 Don’t Be Afraid To Try

Because film isn’t cheap (and I’m not a millionaire… yet), it’s easy to hesitate before taking a shot. Especially if I’m playing around with pricier films such as slide, redscale, redscale XR or black & white.

Taken while trying to quickly finish off my roll of film before sending it in to be processed

Accidental shot while getting into the car in Centrepoint

Scary-looking cables in Vientiane, Laos

But really, what do I have to lose?

#5 It’s Okay To Make Mistakes, Just Try Again

I’m onto my umpteenth roll, and I still make the silliest mistakes. Like forgetting to focus. Or using the wrong viewfinder attachment for the wrong lens. Or even forgetting to remove the InstantBack refocus unit before reverting back to 120mm film (point: blurry out of focus shots like below)

Gabby, at horse-riding class

Little cafes around the Nam Phu Fountain in Vientiane

But you’ll never know, some mistakes may surprise you with gems.

Marney in the Mirror: Taken while visiting Prashant @ Damansara Hospital

#6 The Only Way To Do Something Right, Is To Go All The Way

If I had dabbled only mildly in analogue photography, and held on to my trusty Canon digital, I’d've given up after the first, few unsuccessful rolls and never bothered to try again. Why? Because I would never be fully immersed in it.

But by committing to going analogue (and fully manual for that matter) for one entire year, nothing digital, forced me to stick to my guns and learn to swim.

It’s like being thrown headfirst into a pool, not knowing how to swim that well. If you give up, you drown for sure. But if you try, you’ve got a chance.

And this is not much different with work, relationships, family, new chances… not much different from life.

Taken at the Buddha Park in Laos

Taken at YouthAsia Office, The Top

Light leaks on Baby Josephine

Khailee as T-Rex this Halloween

I’m on my 5th month of pure analogue, and with 7-8 months to go, I think I’m going to learn tons more.

All photos featured in this post were taken with my Diana F+ Snow Cat.

No she didn’t come bearing ang pow.

It was better than that.

She came bearing this.

A beautiful, two-colored, 3-month-old female Beagle!

I instantly fell in love.

My aunt found her wandering in the middle of a busy intersection, lost and afraid. She stopped the car (yes, right in the middle of the road much to the chagrin of honking drivers) and opened her arms. This little baby instantly ran to her.

She asked around at a nearby petrol station and found out that the attendants had been watching her for some time. They saw her jump out of a moving truck (yes, a moving truck) and the owner never came back to retrieve her.

So my aunt brought her over to my place.

She’s the most lovable creature in the world, always up for fun, and loves snuggling up to you. Needless to say, my animal-loving brother was instantly hooked.

Actually, my entire family is completely in love with her!

Dad, who previously was a dog-elitist and only would consider rearing German Shepards, St. Bernards or Golden Retrievers was very keen on keeping her.
Mum, who’s been pretty much anti-dog-attachment since my German Shepard passed away some 10+ years ago (with the exception of my current mongrel, Hero, who she really grew very accustomed to keeping), was totally in love.
Aunty Helen was totally into her, playing with her, setting up a mini bed for her, cleaning her

We named her Brandy (after the drink, not the singer).

Let’s just say in 2 days my entire family was super attached to her, even her tantrum throwing which involved dragging our shoes and laundry all over the house in fear of abandonment whenever we leave for a few hours.

In typical anal-ness, on the 4th day, right before I had to set for KL, I demanded we take her to the vet just in case she was sick as my older dog succumbed to a mild fever the day before. And since she was a missing dog, I figured we’d want to know more about her (e.g. age, vaccinations, etc.).

So off my mum and I went to the vet.

It was a difficult trip as Brandy was reluctant to get into the car, get out of the car, go into the clinic and even peed on me in a wave of nervousness. She hid under a ledge the entire way and refused to come out even when I coaxed her to.

Then the vet came out.

That was when he dropped the bombshell.

He’d received an email from the SPCA the day before about a lost beagle pup.. and he was quite certain it was her. He could tell from those two patches at the top of her puppy head. Instantly, he notified SPCA and when we got home, the owner called.

My aunt gave him a mini-thrashing on the phone for ultimate irresponsibility (how can anyone let a puppy loose in a car without holding it down / caging it up? or even without an identification collar? and not even noticing it was gone until he reached his destination..)

I called to ask if we could keep her and buy her off him..

But he said no, can do. She belonged to his 5-year-old son.

My first impulse was to cart her off to KL with me and dog nap her. After all, who would know any better?

When he came to pick her up at 5pm. I kind of let her go with a very, very heavy heart. And she looked so confused when we handed her over.

Honestly, I was kind of stumped, stunned, and tons sad. Sometimes I still am.

When I spoke to Khailee that night, he reminded me of how impermanent everything is. And it’s kind of true. Nothing is permanent.

Not our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, boyfriends, husbands, wives, girlfriends, friends, acquaintances.

None of them are permanent.

Permanence is an illusion of security that we allow ourselves to feel. We’d rather believe that the people we know will be that way forever, be there forever.. and will never change or leave. We delude ourselves into thinking that, things will always be this way. Why? Because it feels safe. It feels like we’re in control of the situation.

It’s why the overprotective mother smothers her child with love. It’s why she has endless rules and regulations that she cloaks with discipline — to maintain an illusion of permanence.
It’s why the insecure girlfriend clings to her boyfriend. It’s why she prohibits him from doing anything — to maintain an illusion of permanence.
It’s why governments scramble to enforce martial law, cheat at elections and lie to their constituents — to maintain an illusion of permanence.

It’s why so many people fear death. It takes away permanence.

But… one day people will leave. YOU will leave. Be it purposefully, forcefully, unwillingly, be it stolen, taken or given. One day we will all leave.

That being said, I realized one important thing from that. God is permanent. But people, things, are never permanent. But love is constant. And it can be permanent.

I loved my grandfather when he was alive. I love him now that he’s gone. And I will love him for every day of my life.
I love my parents right now. I will love them long after they’re gone. And I will love them for every day of my life.

Same goes for my grandmother, aunt, uncles, brother, cousins and for my friends.

They will not be permanent. But my love for them, is.

In this case, it’s the same with that little puppy.

Even though we only had her for 4 days, we had her for 4 pretty amazing days. And we all loved her, and still love her. We all cherish those 4 days and while it would hurt a lot less if we’d never met her, it’s really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Because at the end of the day, we have to accept this one truth: Nothing is permanent.

And I don’t say that with bitterness either. It’s with acceptance and a wistful smile.

Your parents aren’t always going to be around. So be spiritually, emotionally present with them when they are.
Your friends aren’t always going to be around. Give it all you have. Be the best friend that you can be. So when either one of you has to leave, you both know you were the best.
Someone you love isn’t always going to be around. So live each moment with them, not against them. Appreciate each other, and take a pause in your busy life to say, “I’m here. Right now. With you. And right now, that is all that matters”.
A child will not always be a child. Cultivate that bond, that feeling and enjoy his/her young years.

Really, my lesson is this: Cherish every moment you have. Because it is ALL you have. Live for the moment and enjoy each moment. The next may not be the same. And when you look back on those moments, you know that you lived it fully, you cherished it fully, and you were there fully.

]]> http://xinch.com.my/loving-losing-lessons-learned/feed/ 2 http://xinch.com.my/malaysian-politics-verbal-diarrhea/ http://xinch.com.my/malaysian-politics-verbal-diarrhea/#comments Sun, 24 Jan 2010 12:17:05 +0000 xinch http://xinch.com.my/?p=899 I don’t think it’s just contagious. I think it’s hereditary too.

This is what I mean:

Take #1 — Rais Yatim’s urge for a “wider use of the National language in the private sector” to further dignify it.

The ministry — with the cooperation of Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka (DBP) — would carry out continuous campaigns to “enculture Bahasa Malaysia usage” as well as make it an appealing language.

Don’t know bout you, but that sounds pretty communistic to me.

Among them was that the leaders should communicate well and more often in the national language, including at official meetings, while it was also suggested that forums and conventions held in the country not be conducted in English.

Right. And I’m assuming you want all expats working in Malaysia to sit for a 1 year course on BM as well.Oh. And while we’re at it, the rest of the world. Since, I don’t know, the private firms in Malaysia generally deal with international corporations?

Check out his verbal diarrhea here >>

Oh.. and watch him changing “mode” here :

Click here to view the embedded video.

Take #2 — #yorais, time to take your eyes (and mouth really) outta your ass and face the 21st century

He added that facilities like internet (Facebook, Twitter and… I don’t know, L-Band? -_- )could not be accepted wholly because it was a form of business introduced by the West and “Malaysians were just users.”

“They are just selling Facebook, Twitter, L-Band and various other services, even through space, as a product but we do not do such business. We accept all this in a state of cultural shock,” he said.

Perhaps it’s his old, ancient mouth speaking from where the sun don’t shine… so, I’m not even going to dignify this with a response.

Check out his verbal diarrhea here >>

Take #3 — Nazri Aziz says, “But THEY started it!” *points finger at The Herald*

“It’s not the fault of the government. Let it be known that it was Tan Sri Pakiam, not the government, who brought the matter to court,” Nazri stressed.

If there was to be any out-of-court settlement over the “Allah” row, Pakiam, as the official publisher of Herald — the Catholic Weekly, must make the first move, the government minister added.

“I got no choice as the minister in charge of law. Because of Tan Sri Pakiam, I must be the person to advise the government that we must use the courts-lah,” Nazri, who is also Padang Renggas MP said.

Honestly? What is this… kindergarten? Of course, he neglects to add that the Home Ministry banned it first.

Instead, he noted that the judge is not a Muslim, and had ruled over a matter that concerned the “akidah” (faith) of the Muslim community.

I thought neutrality is upheld in the judiciary. If the judge is not christian / catholic, and not Muslim, I’m assuming he/she makes the best decision for both parties from an on the fence perspective.

The Umno man said in the Borneo states the people had embraced the “1 Malaysia” concept a long time ago, unlike in the west where racial lines are still very apparent.

Dude. They’ve been using Allah for 300 years. So have we. So mengapa pula cari pasal skarang?

“I’m very liberal, I’m very confident, but if I try to explain to them… no way,” Nazri disclosed, referring to his contituents when asked how real the worry was that Christians would try and convert Muslims if the High Court ruling was upheld.

“Those people not in politics, they can say anything. But people like me, I depend on my voters,” the federal lawmaker said.

“I may look liberal but my constituents are not,” he added.

So… genius. You’re openly admitting that this public charade and cat-mouse-chase is all for… political gain?

“If everyone prays to Allah, they’ll all be Muslim. It’s a good ploy for Muslims to convert non-Muslims,” he quipped.

Pot calling kettle black. Your earlier fear was Christians would try to convert Muslims by calling God “Allah”.

Check out his verbal diarrhea here >>

This whole church / Allah / Internet nonsense is getting out of hand. So dudes in our Cabinet / Parliament, hear me out here.

Message to Malaysian Politicians:

Instead of bickering over all this shit and not respecting the court’s decision, why don’t you just do your job and govern our country right.

Instead of worrying about Bahasa Malaysia, whether we’re being “brainwashed” by Twitter and Facebook and fearing that the Christians are on the move to convert all Muslims by declaring that God and Allah are the same, allow me to suggest far more urgent things you should be dedicating your attention to:

• Investigating the MACC’s involvement in Teoh Beng Hock’s death.
• The whole Port Klang Free Zone joke
• The VK Lingam case.. and properly investigating it instead of sweeping it under the carpet
• The hilarity that was our stolen jet engines
• The brainwashing Biro Tata Negara nonsense
• The rape of the Penans
• and Khir Toyo’s misues of Selangor State funds (I mean, that huge ass mansion? Pfft, guys. Seriously, how stupid do you think Malaysians are?

(Taken, and slightly adapted from RibutKL)

Your thoughts?

….

Facebook guys, just in case the videos don’t load, you can read the full post here if anything is missing: http://www.xinch.com.my

In fact, I was so horrified at this woman’s completely misguided and misled portrayal of Islam and Malaysia that I felt compelled to respond with this:

I felt a strong need to stand up for my country and reiterate the lack of persecution by Muslims in Malaysia. In fact, I wasn’t the only one. Gabby, the copywriter I work with, had the same sentiments and even extended her defense to Muslims in general.

For 24 hours, I found such claims so ridiculous and my colleagues and I spent many moments wondering where people like these get ideas planted in their heads. I mean — elimination and persecution? All my life as a Christian living in Malaysia, I have never been persecuted. And I have not known of any other Christians being persecuted.

Until I came into the office this morning, and read this >>

In fact, last I checked, we’re right on the front page of BBC News Online, right under “More Top Stories” and with a header image to boot.

Suddenly, it hit me. Perhaps this Elizabeth woman wasn’t so far off after all. Is she predicting what may come?

After all, in the past 12 hours, the number of churches fire-bombed has increased to 4 and according to various news sources, even more phone threats have been reported.

For those of you who are not aware (how can you not, though), this follows hot on the heels of the “Allah” debate in our country.

Our politicians disrespectfully disagreed with the High Court’s decision to allow a Catholic weekly to use the word “Allah” in their Bahasa Malaysia circulation and went ahead to appeal to an even higher court. In fact, they appealed as the “Prime Minister’s Department”.

Honestly, this speaks volumes. It’s essentially saying that our entire government is completely against the decision made by the judiciary. The implications this appeal has is tremendous.

Even more so disappointing is our Prime Minister’s reaction (or lackthereof) to the entire fiasco.

The Prime Minister said he viewed the matter seriously as these actions could jeopardise harmony, adding that the Government would take all possible action to prevent such incident from recurring. (Source: theStar)

In any other country, whether for PR or public gain, a full and official statement is usually made, almost immediately, by the premier following such acts of terrorism. Why? Because a proper, strong and unwavering stance should be made by the leader of the country.

But all our PM said (or reportedly said) was that he condemns it because it jeopardises our harmony and to not blame UMNO for instigating such violent responses?

Where is mention of our freedom of worship?
Where does he say that such acts are unIslamic?

Perhaps he means to maintain that everyone is innocent, until proven guilty. But the truth is this…

“Is it enough to just say ‘stop overreacting and being overzealous and stop jumping to conclusions’?”

I don’t know about you. But any moderately intelligent person can deduce that an act of terrorism performed four times in 12 hours using the same modus operandi is premeditated.

And any moderately intelligent person can deduce that it very possibly has something to do with the fact that protests against the use of “Allah” in Christian publications were scheduled to be held today.

Perhaps, sir, a better response would be to address the possibilities, and not sweep it under the carpet. Perhaps, then, you would increase the amount of respect your people have for you and that of the world. By taking a strong stance, you lead not only the voice of your party, but the voice of your community, and the voice of your country.

For those of you professing hate for our Muslim brothers and sisters, please refrain from doing so. I strongly believe that the acts of a few do not represent the thoughts of the majority.

Any act of terrorism, particularly against a house of worship, is condemned in the Quran. Surah 22, Verse 40 of the Quran says:

“(They are) those who have been expelled from their homes in defiance of right,- (for no cause) except that they say, “our Lord is Allah.. Did not Allah check one set of people by means of another, there would surely have been pulled down monasteries, churches, synagogues, and mosques, in which the name of Allah is commemorated in abundant measure. Allah will certainly aid those who aid his (cause);- for verily Allah is full of Strength, Exalted in Might, (able to enforce His Will)”.( Quran 22:40)

(Taken from the blog of Anas Zubedy)

Christianity and Islam share the same birth land, the same language, and the same prophets. In fact, we are more similar than the modern world makes us out to be.

Perhaps the solution to all this would be to have a public and educated forum on religions. Instead of focusing on our differences, why not focus on our similarities? Why not increase the awareness of the fact that Allah is God, and God is Allah?

At the end of the day, one thing stands out very clearly — Christians and Muslims worship the same God.

So why are we still fighting?

Truth is, I’m more sad, than I am angry. Dark days will come from this. Local news reports say that “no one has been hurt in these attacks”. But the truth is this…

Irregardless of race, religion, ethnicity or nationality.

We have all been hurt.

So to all my friends, irregardless of your faith, let us pray.

Let us pray for our nation’s strength.
Let us pray for the hand of the Lord to guide our leaders as they navigate our people and country through such troubled times.
Let us pray for fairness, transparency and truth in this investigation.
Let us pray for clear minds for our people.
Let us pray for that our wonderful Muslim brothers and sisters stand up, speak up and dissociate themselves from such acts of terrorism.
Let us pray for light in this time of darkness.
Let us pray for love among our people.

For my friends who do not adhere to any particular religious belief / doctrine, let us possess the same intentions.

The same intentions of fairness, transparency and truth in our country. The same intentions of light.

We really only have one world, and one lifetime to live in it.

But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you’re bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that’s exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y’all, y’all…

Instead of spreading love we’re spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity

Where is the love?

jamie khoo blog <– this is the top keyword search!


xinch ci <— people need to learn to spell my name right

keloid specialist <— what the hell?!

penang road prostitute momo

transvestites at chulia street penang

youthasia joel khailee <— I’ve only mentioned YouthAsia once in the blog -__-

xinch ghee cucumber

malaysian education sucks

priscilla lim help college

national archives of school magazines in malaysia

But one thing I’m really proud of. Many people who Google “Agathians Shelter” or unknown orphanages in PJ get directed to my blog. I honestly think that’s pretty awesome.

More soon!

I was even more surprised to hear that when they complain to others (the older generation in particular), they are told to close one eye as… “It happens all the time. Why look for trouble?”

I honestly think that people, many women especially, still do not comprehend the severity of sexual harassment.

A superior looking at my chest or saying the blouse makes it look good today is NOT OK.

Teasing me about hooking up sexually is NOT just a joke.

Women should NOT have to sit still and smile awkwardly and edge away if they are treated in ways that make them feel uncomfortable by their male superiors or colleagues. In any other country, these men would have a lawsuit up their asses, suspensions or terminations, and trouble looking for jobs elsewhere.

That’s why it angers me even more when I read this on Zorro Unmasked’s blog:

Honestly Ismail Abdul Rahim? What would you say if your wife or children were offered the same sort of treatment my friends have been dealt with?

The hypocrisy of the Powers That Be still awe me until today. I may not be Muslim but I am very sure sexual harassment is NOT acceptable by Allah, or your Quran. I believe that Muhammad treated his wife and the women around him with respect and not as such.

If you preach holiness among your people, why encourage perversion?

Let me make my stand on this matter:

Women, do not allow anyone to take your pride by degrading you with perversion. Verbal harassment should be treated (and punished) just as severely as physical harassment is.

If the government and Labour Laws aren’t
going to protect you…

PROTECT YOURSELF.

STAND up for yourself.

You have NOTHING to be ashamed of, it is he who
should be bowing his head in shame.

So speak up and make a fuss.

Empower others to do the same.

They will thank you for it.

Read the full post by Zorro Unmasked here >>

“If there was no evidence, why is Anwar going up and down the court appealing and re-appealing for documents and DNA samples?” (Azlan Mohd Lazim as quoted by The Star 2009)

Someone tell me if this sounds as stupid to you as it does to me.

Dear Mr. Azlan Mohd Lazim,

You might not know this, but if you keep asking for something and your request is rejected multiple times (even though you’re requesting for something that’s rather crucial and is not supposed to be withheld) you would naturally automatically assume that

a) the person you’re requesting it from is being a bitch and doing this on purpose

b) it doesn’t exist in the first place

So, of course he keeps re-appealing! YOU guys say it exists but won’t give it to him, so he assumes either (a) or (b), but then you guys INSIST it exists again so obviously he will continue asking!

Oh and apparently Anwar’s lead counsel has pulled out due to health reasons. Mr. Azlan, I know you call it “stunts” but don’t you think as a lawyer, with the court and the prosecution withholding evidence, you would feel so stressed and worried and fed up that you would develop all these health problems (whether it’s high blood pressure or just the inability to sleep, eat and think) from the case and pull out too for your own sanity?

I know I would.

Sincerely,
Xinch

P.S. Read the article here.

Disclaimer: If you’re wondering, she is apolitical and just wants the best for Malaysians whether that comes in the form of BN or Pakatan Rakyat (it’s just that right now, she seems to think more equality will be achieved through Pakatan Rakyat and that the current federal government is playing an amazing PR game with the whole 1Malaysia crap and has perfect timing with news releases to mainstream media).

And by the way, this is just her opinion to why the man quoted sounds dumb and should rehearse his speeches for the media if he cannot say anything intelligently critical off-the-bat. By no means does she mean any offense. Again, just her opinion.

Also, just so you know, she has no idea if Anwar sodomized that dude or not. She just thinks that a smart man like Anwar wouldn’t make the same mistake twice (if he did sodomize the first guy) and that if he did, he would’ve done it out of the country with some random whore instead of doing it with another aide who happens to be chummy with Najib. I mean, the guy’s got to have some brains if he can rally support form urban, educated Malaysians and other large developed, first-world leaders).

One last disclaimer. The writer also thinks “like father, like son”. Perhaps Anwar supporters would think better and eventually sympathize with his son (I doubt it but it’s worth a shot hoping) if he sounded like less of an idiot in mainstream media.

You might wonder which inconsiderate parent would lag behind on school fees long enough for their child to be penalized as such. But this man, Mr. Siva, is no inconsiderate parent. He simply has no choice. For him, school fees are completely draining. At RM117.50 a child, Mr. Siva has 26 boys he needs to pay school fees for.. and counting. At this point, you are probably wondering, “Why so many?”

Mr. Siva runs a home for orphaned or abandoned boys in PJ called Agathians Shelter. Early this June, Mr. Siva received memos from the schools his boys go to demanding fees of RM117.50 a year. Perplexed, he wonders why schools are demanding fees in the middle of the year. Even more so since he remembers reading the papers in late 2007 that school fees have been waived for primary and secondary school students.

After all, in late 2007, the previous Education Minister proudly announced that “education in Malaysia is free” at a UNESCO general conference in Paris. Evidently, he either does not have kids, his kids aren’t school-going, or are enrolled in private / international institutions. Actually, he might need to go back to school to relearn the definition of “free”. Why, you ask?

Turns out, the school has received an approval from the Education Ministry at state and national level to bill parents and caretakers for the school’s “extra charges”. Those aren’t school fees, he was told, those are just extra charges required for the school’s sustainability. So he turns back to the memos he received and, lo and behold, he missed it at first. The term “school fees” do not appear. In fact, everything is termed “Bayaran Tambahan” (Extra Charges) and “Lain Lain” (Miscellaneous).

You might wonder what falls under each category. First, the extra charges category:

This doesn’t seem too bad yet. But wait… you haven’t seen the miscellaneous charges

Naturally, Mr. Siva attempts to negotiate with the schools’ PTA and respective headmasters about cutting down the fees. These are his arguments

1. The boys can share a school magazine. After all, they all live under the same roof. This effectively will save the home RM312 which can then be channeled to their basic necessities.

2. The boys are orphaned / abandoned and he is the legal caretaker for all 26 boys. They have no adoptive or biological parent who can be active in the Parent-Teacher Association or who will attend their annual galas. So is it possible for the PTAs to reduce / waive the PTA fees or at least group the boys as a family so that the home does not have to fork out RM1300 in total for all boys and instead pay for them as a family?

Both reasons seem reasonable to me. After all, Mr. Siva is not negotiating so that he does not have to pay, but is negotiating so that unnecessary payments won’t be made. Sadly, all parties said no. Their reasons? Firstly, it is against their school / education policy to allow subsidy of that kind. Secondly, waiver of such fees are only allowed for siblings / blood related students. Because the 26 boys are not blood related despite having the same legal guardian, Mr Siva has to pay the extra RM 62.00 per child… by hook or by crook.

May is now a member of the committee of Agathians Shelter and I’m helping them revamp their website to use it as a vessel to tell their story, build their community, and help them become self-sustainable. But self-sustainability involves short-term sacrifices for long-term gains. So until the end of the year, they are in dire need of funds to survive. On top of that, they need school fees amounting to more than RM3000. And they’ll need fees for next year as well, since January is less than 6 months away.

To all my friends – you guys are privileged. While some of you might not be from the upper social strata, we’ve had so many opportunities that these kids have not had. So we’re still privileged. Most of all, we’re on the brink of realizing so much of our potential… and I wonder if these children will ever have a chance to do that. So I urge you to give. Even if it’s just RM10, or RM50. We spend mounts of money on furnishing our wardrobes with clothes we do not need, and buying more than enough shoes and bags to flood our shelves. The pair of heels at Vincci will still be there next month. So please, give.

There’s a contact page above that links directly to my email address – contact me for more details if you wish to contribute to Agathians Shelter to help them in their journey of being one of the few self-sustaining children’s shelters in Malaysia.

—

Notes:
Click here to view a copy of the actual memo

So when I read today that “many object to making English a must pass subject for SPM”, I thought, “Oh great, here we go again”.

Someone needs to buy a “Survey Basics for Dummies” book.

They say that most out of the measly 500 views they got object to it. But how many are “most”? And what in the world is 500 compared to the entire Malaysian population? Someone needs to teach them how to properly conduct a survey and report survey results. Either that, or the powers that be are bullshitting us and riling us up for another round of debates. After all, they’ve run out of things for us to debate in the media – Perak, teaching Science and Math in English, Altantunya…. etc

But, education is a sore spot for politics. As much as it sucks, the truth is that students are neglected most of the time by the politicians unless it involves officiating things with the media involved. Politicians typically try to appeal to voters – none of which are primary or secondary level students. Our Education Minister said that “he was also shocked to learn that national schools no longer taught English grammar”.

I take away two things from this. Firstly, our government is obviously not placing enough emphasis and importance on the monitoring of our school syllabi. Secondly, he either does not have any children, or if he does, they are probably educated overseas or in private institutions. All of our politicians should take a step back and take off their political-mind-game caps and just momentarily replace them with parent caps.

Learning English is not easy.

And I’m saying this from the perspective of someone who grew up in a primarily English-speaking environment and mingled among people who speak English as their first language. I can honestly tell you that aside from Mrs. Leong in Std 6, I learned nothing about the language during my 10 years of public schooling. I attribute my fluency wholly to my mother and Mrs. Brohier, my English tutor of many, many years. From them, I learned proper pronunciation, grammar, sentence structures, essay-writing and analytic writing, among others. That makes me one of the lucky few of my generation who can afford having a tutor in the first place and who are blessed enough to be born into a family who uses English daily. How many students are blessed enough for all that?

Many of my friends speak good English and write decently, in fact. But not many of them are aware of what nouns, pronouns, adverbs, synonyms, antonyms or even homonyms are! I can’t really blame them since I have never heard them my entire 10 years in school! Without my mother and Mrs. Brohier, I would never have known about the intricacies of the English language either. What I learned in school consisted mainly of reading passages, how to answer comprehension questions, how to write essays of different formats, etc. etc. But nothing of the sheer basics of the language. So our government can spend the next few months (or years, who knows?) debating on whether or not to make passing English compulsory and do nothing meanwhile. Or, they can do something about the way English is taught while debating (if they really need to).

At the end of the day…

They can play mind games all they want and use education as a gambling point to gain more votes.

They can even rely on and applaud “Malay supremacist” views that say that giving English so much importance in Malaysian education makes us “victims of the English Language colonisation” or that our “national unity” will be affected.

But let’s be realistic here. Backward and narrow thinking does not take us anywhere. It does not take a rocket scientist to be aware of the fact that English is the dominant International language in just about any field there is, and its reach is truly global. Unless Malaysia is as self-sufficient as Japan, in order to become truly competitive, our people need a working knowledge of the English language. An almost 70% pass of English at SPM level is an appalling statistic – someone needs to teach the powers that be to be aware of the actual meaning behind that of that thrown-around statistic.

You often notice that our politicians make a large number of observations about many different topics on education that are basically the same thing – that the nation’s teaching staff is under-qualified. One of the reasons why education is a stagnant sector is because our government spends a disproportionate amount of time on politicking and making obvious and completely unhelpful “observations”.

But at the end of the day, what are they doing about it? How many more generations of students will continue to lose out on opportunities simply because our schools are not prepped enough to promote excellence?