Precious in the sight of the LORD [is] the death of his saints.
Psalms 116:15

I started the year with death. I will end the year with another one.

It’s crazy because you’re my oldest friend. You’re probably the first friend I ever had. Yes, we’ve lost contact since you migrated. But, a part of me always believed, knew, we’d meet again one day and laugh about how stupid we were back then.

We used to play guns and war in your backyard, or force me to watch you and my brother play Nintendo games. Then I used to sit in your shiny red tug cart and you’d pull me and Shang down the hill. The only time I tried to do the same for you, you fell over and scraped your knee. I was a passive-aggressive child and when I didn’t get my way, I’d sulk. The many times you guys payed guns and I wanted to play dolls, you and Shang would tease me, ‘scold’ me, ‘nag’ me and call me names until I sulked in the corner, but you always came to wave the white flag and say sorry. My mum used to tell my brother how nice you were and how he should emulate that.

Your family introduced me to Christ, Sunday school and PCC. Even though my choice to turn to the Lord was not because of you, it was the introduction to Christianity that you and your family gave me that strengthened that choice.

Then, my most vivid memory of you… was in my room, you in the draw bed below and me on the main bed. You couldn’t stop talking the entire night and eventually Shang left the room because he was so annoyed and sleepy but couldn’t sleep. It was the latest I’d stayed up back then. Everyone had gone to bed and it was 1something AM? I remember begging you to let me sleep. And you said. “Promise me you’ll be my soulmate forever.” I answered “If I do, you’ll let me sleep?” you said “Yes”. So I did and asked if I could sleep now. And you said yes. Then, you went around telling everyone for months how I promised to be your soulmate and how we were going to get married and live together forever while I cringed and turned crimson in the background.

Forever seemed so possible back then, didn’t it? I never knew I’d never see you again. I never expected I’d never see you again. Even if I never saw you again, I never expected for you not to be around, so soon. The little 10 year old who made me promise to be his soulmate forever. I didn’t even know what soulmate was but was too proud to admit it to you. I don’t even know where you could’ve learnt the word. All this seems like yesterday. All within my grasp. Memories of a time gone by. Memories of my near idyllic childhood. I used to think that you either would be so embarrassed you actually did the things you did or would laugh as you told you friends, and possibly your children and grandchildren one day, the way I will tell mine. I never thought you would never be able to. It never even crossed my mind.

Soulmate. Such a large, meaningful word for a little boy who formed an integral part of my childhood.

We were born to be mates. The moment you were born, we were mates. Even when you left, we were mates. Even now, we are mates. Are we soulmates? What are soulmates? I’ll never know. But, Nick, we were born to be mates and mates we will always be.

Goodbye, mate.

Till the day our souls cross paths again.
Till then, you’ll be on my mind, always.

The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.
Isaiah 57:1-2

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